When I applied to Michigan State University’s Master of Arts of Education Program, I was set on becoming an elementary school teacher. Though I was only two years into my five-year service commitment to the US Army, it was that goal that was getting me through the challenges I faced. I knew then, as I know for certain now, that the Army was not meant for me. I wanted to work with children, to inspire them, learn from them, and invest in the change-makers of tomorrow. I felt that teaching was my true calling.

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            It’s been four years since I wrote that application and I no longer plan on becoming a teacher. This is due to two factors: a change in my identity and the impact of COVID-19 on education. As it stands, my initial goal, my initial desire, to become an elementary school teacher is gone. Or more accurately, dormant.

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            Today, I am a mother and a veteran. I have hung up my military uniform for good and am choosing to take a break from working to stay home and raise my toddler. I am not the same person I was when I applied to this program—but that is a strength for me, something I am proud of. Even more than the changes in my identity, the COVID-19 Pandemic shattered my rose-colored view of education. I witnessed first hand the detrimental impact the pandemic had on education and the mental health of teachers, and it made me question my calling to teach.

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            In this program, I worked with a number of graduate students who were teaching during COVID. The stresses they described, their realities in the Zoom and hybrid classrooms, opened my eyes to what teaching today truly looks like. The fallout of restrictive policies, as well as a surging political interest in education, has cooled my passion for the profession. I would not feel safe in a classroom now with the rampant gun control issues, the conservative influence over curriculum and reading materials, and the political lean of the school boards. It is a sad reality that I have lost the desire to teach because of these outside factors. Maybe one day that spark will return. But as it stands, I would not be able to freely teach the way I would want to teach.

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             If I were to enter into the field of education in the future, I do think an elementary school teacher could be on the list of positions I might want to hold. However, after completing a majority of the master’s program, I believe I might be more suited to working in administration or in English as a Second Language (ESL) programs. These were both ideas I had included as options in my initial program application, but they now feel more in line with who I am and what my strengths are. Ultimately though, I am leaving this master’s program with no intention of entering a classroom. With a heavy heart, I’ve realized my answer to my title’s question is not to teach. At least for now.